Grief is a deep sadness or sorrow that results from a loss. The loss can be from something big or small. It can be from something positive or negative.
Causes
Examples of things that cause grief include changes in:
A job (new or lost job, a
promotion or demotion, or retirement)
Relationships (getting separated or
divorced or having a child leave home)
Health (illness or injury)
Life matters (death of a family member or
friend, loss of property or moving to a new place)
Bereavement is a process of grieving most often linked with the death of a loved one. There
are many factors that shape our response to a loss such as death. These factors include:
Age
Health
How sudden the loss was
Cultural background
Religious beliefs
Financial security
Social network
History of other losses or traumatic events
Each of these factors can add to or reduce the pain of grieving. Trying to deny grief or avoid it only seems to create more serious problems later on. To come through the process in a healthy way, it is best to understand what coping with loss is all about.
Stages of Grief
Before a griever can feel "whole" or healed, they generally go through
four stages:
1. Shock. The person feels dazed or numb.
2. Denial and Searching. The person:
Is in a state of disbelief
Asks questions such as "Why did this happen?" Or "Why didn't I prevent
this?"
Looks for ways to keep their loved one or loss with them
Thinks he or she sees or hears the deceased person
Just begins to feel the reality of the event
3. Suffering and Disorganization. The person:
Has feelings such as guilt, depression, anxiety, loneliness, fear, hostility
May place blame on everyone and everything, including themselves
May get physical symptoms such as headaches, stomachaches, constant fatigue, shortness of
breath
Withdraws from routine and social contacts
4. Recovery and Acceptance. The person:
Begins to look at the future instead of focusing on the past
Adjusts to the reality of the loss
Develops new relationships
Develops a positive attitude
The normal period of grieving the loss of a loved one lasts from 1 to 3 years, but could take longer.
Have you just tried to commit suicide or are you planning ways to
commit suicide? |
 |
| Are you thinking about committing suicide? |
 OR  |
| Are you abusing medication and/or alcohol to make yourself feel
better? Do you need these to cope or "numb" your pain? |
OR |
| Do you have one or more of these problems due to grief? Extreme stress on your marriage
and/or your children Not able to cope day-to-day Ongoing problems such as insomnia, excessive
crying, depression, feelings of guilt, eating too much or too little food |
OR |
| Have you refused to sort through the deceased's belongings after a
significant time? |
|
Eat regular meals.
Get regular physical exercise such as
walking.
Allow friends and family to assist you.
Tell them how you really feel. Don't hold your feelings inside. Visit them, especially
during the holidays, if you would otherwise be alone. Traveling during the holidays may
also be helpful. It is also important to reminisce. Being reminded of the past can be
essential to the process of coming to grips with a loss.
Try not to make major life changes such as
moving during the first year of grieving.
Join a support group for the bereaved if
someone close to you has died. People and places to contact include your EAP
representative, churches or synagogues, funeral homes, and hospice centers.
Contact social agencies such as the
American Association for Retired Persons (AARP) and local mental health centers. (See
"Places to Get Information & Help" under Grief
and under Senior Citizen Health.)
HEALTH AT HOME - Your Complete Guide to Symptoms, Solutions, and Self-Care © 1999 by Don R. Powell. American Institute for Preventive Medicine.
Date updated 02/01/99